Saturday, May 11, 2013

Early Sunday Post. My cat and going to my dark place

Hello all.
Normally this would be my post showing off local artists in my area and so on.
Not so much today. I will get to the point. I cannot find a picture of my cat that is recent enough. So this is the best i can do. Fluffy is a four year old small Grey Tabby. and by small i mean she STILL looks like a kitten. A runt if you will. Whatever that doesn't bother me so much as I still love her....but she must hate me.

So for the last week or so I have been watching my cat Fluffy hurt herself or be on self destruct. Its not for lack of trying to stop it. All she wants to do is sit on a window ledge in the kitchen, bathroom, or living room. Get tired, fall asleep and then fall off. She has rejected all the soft landing places I have made for her, the cat shelves for her to lay on to prevent this. She won't eat her soft dry food and would rather eat her canned cat food or whatever i leave out on the counter for two seconds.

Many a late night with her in my lap at the computer while i waste time surfing so i can pet her and comfort her. Several water dishes with fresh water, clean bowls and so on. Litterbox cleaned daily, other cat kept in a cage and everything. I made sure her new cat shelf that can be moved around is nice and clean that i give her loves as much as i can each day and that my dear daughter gives her space.
(its not Lisa's fault she doesn't understand that Fluffy doesn't want to play with her or be petted, she only knows Fluffy doesn't feel good.)

Several trips to the vet have come up inconclusive and the last one i asked for medicine or something that i would be able to give her to calm what i feel is anxiety. Yes there is something but the best i can afford is stress paste sold at just about most stores. At the point where as much as the vet would love to help I need to make a divot in the vet bills to be able to return....which is why I am trying to push my crafts to sell....

Was able to resupply tonight but at this point I am losing hope. It feels like I am getting to watch my cat die on me. The last few times I went to pet her yesterday and today I can feel her bones.....so doing everything I can to make her comfortable. If I could figure out what the issue is I would.....in my mind I am making preparations for her passing and its taking me to a very dark place in my head. I do apologize for this is probably going to bring some dark or short posts as I go about my life to deal with this.

I don't grieve normally, at least not as most people would. I tend to take forever. This will be talked about in a future post. Thank you for reading and if you can, please any advice, suggestions help or what not would be greatly appreciated.

yes there is another cat in the house but she mostly leaves Fluffy alone.



UPDATE: after spending most of sunday with Fluffy - these posts are drafted in advance so sometimes updates are required - and found out that she has fleas which is why she is scratching. I gathered that as she is allergic to flea dander. And possibly has worms which is why she has lost weight and wants to eat all the time.
Gave her a bath, put neosporin on her wounds and let her be. made sure she understands stay on her shelf not the window so she can get sleep, and going to talk to the vet about making a payment so I can bring Fluffy in. Things are just going to be super tight this month so I will be pushing my crafts a bit more.

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