Greetings all! Its been a while, part of the long silence was due to gathering research and having some life experiences to be able to put this post to words. The rest was myself falling behind due to medical issues and trying to play catch up. I will get into that later in this post. I also admit this does touch on some personal issues with me.
So, let me dive right into this so to speak.
The title of this post "Rampant Isolation Among Our Own." I wish to clarify this so my readers have a better understanding.
Its not about isolation among us all due to technology - although that is a point of contention it is not the main reason.
"Among Our Own" To specify, like minded or similar minded people, or in my case people with mental disorders/diseases such as depression, long term depression, bipolar, social anxiety issues, anxiety issues, IE illnesses that CANNOT BE SEEN BUT DO EXIST and cause us physical or emotional pain and rarely leave a physical marker beyond symptoms.
Some of these being:
Fibromyalgia
Diabetes
Lupus
Sclerosis/Multiple Sclerosis
Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder
Heart Conditions
Cancer even!
(And more found here along with help )
Yes, all of these are invisible to the human eye without test results, x-rays, blood work or a doctors keen observation and such. We look fine on the outside yet its not the same on the inside at all.
My issue is specifically with mental diseases or disorders and how those with similar tend to isolate among their own. Now, before you go telling me, Lexia that's just not true do understand that I am aware of most of the points to be made here.
NOT everyone in this group wants to be isolated, or does it intentionally, and it is understood that due to said mental illnesses it is most difficult to come to a group of people and open up at all.
I very much understand the difficulties behind such. My point is that due to several known or unknown factors said people tend to snap and cut off ties. Either over a misunderstanding or sudden change of mind or flat out unwillingness.
My best examples are as such:
I would attend a NAMI WRAP Class Group (This is JUST a link for information and what the WRAP Class is and what it does, you would have to find a local NAMI in your area to see if said classes are offered)
Said class was free and refreshments were offered, good incentive for just getting people together.
This class was to help teach women -there are other classes for men - how to deal with their depression and issues ALONG with their doctor/counselor/therapist/medications and do better for themselves. Basically a toolbox for us to use at our discretion, however if we do not use the tools and resources then its our own fault.
I would attend each class without fail baring transportation issues or illness and write down as much as I could.
I did notice that among them I was the most informed due to having my illness long term and wanting to keep getting better. I also noticed that many people were either in the beginning parts of this long term battle or did not know. I did see several shy away from not being able to handle it, or others just give up in frustration. At the end of the class only a few people graduated from the group than from when we began.
The main point was that it boiled down to we did it to ourselves OR our own mental illnesses debilitated us to that point. I cared that those that did not get to "graduate" missed out. (By graduate I mean we are given a certificate for finishing the class and get to keep the physical resources given to us.)
The next example was that I had joined a circle of friends and found someone with similar issues as myself. We became friends and got along fine. Now being myself which often means being oblivious in my conversations or thinking aloud without trying to filter it (ie saying my thoughts out loud instead of keeping them to myself as my thought filter broke ages ago)
I can often be harsh, grating or seen as insensitive without really meaning to at all.
Within a month of us being friends he cut me off. NOW I will say it was not without fault on my part, however I wasn't even given a chance to make amends, only that I apparently set off one of his triggers and he blocked me.
It hurt, I move on and try to get on with things.
The point of these examples is that I understand that its difficult for people with similar mental disorders to function around others even those with similar issues. Yet why do we lash out at our own kind?
Is it fear, not wanting to understand or just simply being unable to stop it?
I ASK this coming from a standpoint of someone suffering depression since puberty and still battling with it, yet well armed. I am aware of what happens when I start getting worse and do my best to either keep it from others to prevent harm or arm myself and let those who care about me know and go to my usual hiding.
Its been almost 19 years since I first began dealing with depression, NINETEEN YEARS.
Granted the majority of them were me wondering why I felt this way, what is wrong with me, I want to be normal and so on. The rest were an uphill battle of being able to find some kind of diagnosis or help with little to now knowledge in the medical field about some mental issues at all.
So it bothers me greatly when people of my own turn me away without giving me a chance to rectify/apologize/or right my wrong doing. Or worst of all, tell me I did wrong before flat out turning me away.
That is part of the process in the classes too, if someone sets off your trigger or upsets you, NOT TELLING that person is NOT helping either or you and perpetuates the problem. IE not telling the person doesn't fix it and allow them to stop or curtail said actions or behavior. It makes it worse for you because said person will continue said actions/words/behavior to you and other people and NOT KNOW they should not.
Yes this went from trying to understand to a minor rant. It bothers me that as much as those of us with these similar diseases want to be able to handle it or get better, doing this among our own isn't helping.
It causes me to want to further isolate from all and gives me further fear of trusting against my better logic and judgement.
I suppose the short version, please among ALL OF US, if someone has done something bad, please calm down and then tell that person why you are upset. Otherwise you are the only one upset about it while the other person is clueless. Thank you. This does not cover extreme or repeated cases or when the person doing wrong knows it.
Ending this post here and prepping for another update post. April I will be attending CyPhaCon!
CyPhaCon.org please be aware that the end of march and beginning of april may be devoid of posts.
Thank you all for your patience and see you next post!
So, let me dive right into this so to speak.
The title of this post "Rampant Isolation Among Our Own." I wish to clarify this so my readers have a better understanding.
Its not about isolation among us all due to technology - although that is a point of contention it is not the main reason.
"Among Our Own" To specify, like minded or similar minded people, or in my case people with mental disorders/diseases such as depression, long term depression, bipolar, social anxiety issues, anxiety issues, IE illnesses that CANNOT BE SEEN BUT DO EXIST and cause us physical or emotional pain and rarely leave a physical marker beyond symptoms.
Some of these being:
Fibromyalgia
Diabetes
Lupus
Sclerosis/Multiple Sclerosis
Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder
Heart Conditions
Cancer even!
(And more found here along with help )
Yes, all of these are invisible to the human eye without test results, x-rays, blood work or a doctors keen observation and such. We look fine on the outside yet its not the same on the inside at all.
My issue is specifically with mental diseases or disorders and how those with similar tend to isolate among their own. Now, before you go telling me, Lexia that's just not true do understand that I am aware of most of the points to be made here.
NOT everyone in this group wants to be isolated, or does it intentionally, and it is understood that due to said mental illnesses it is most difficult to come to a group of people and open up at all.
I very much understand the difficulties behind such. My point is that due to several known or unknown factors said people tend to snap and cut off ties. Either over a misunderstanding or sudden change of mind or flat out unwillingness.
My best examples are as such:
I would attend a NAMI WRAP Class Group (This is JUST a link for information and what the WRAP Class is and what it does, you would have to find a local NAMI in your area to see if said classes are offered)
Said class was free and refreshments were offered, good incentive for just getting people together.
This class was to help teach women -there are other classes for men - how to deal with their depression and issues ALONG with their doctor/counselor/therapist/medications and do better for themselves. Basically a toolbox for us to use at our discretion, however if we do not use the tools and resources then its our own fault.
I would attend each class without fail baring transportation issues or illness and write down as much as I could.
I did notice that among them I was the most informed due to having my illness long term and wanting to keep getting better. I also noticed that many people were either in the beginning parts of this long term battle or did not know. I did see several shy away from not being able to handle it, or others just give up in frustration. At the end of the class only a few people graduated from the group than from when we began.
The main point was that it boiled down to we did it to ourselves OR our own mental illnesses debilitated us to that point. I cared that those that did not get to "graduate" missed out. (By graduate I mean we are given a certificate for finishing the class and get to keep the physical resources given to us.)
The next example was that I had joined a circle of friends and found someone with similar issues as myself. We became friends and got along fine. Now being myself which often means being oblivious in my conversations or thinking aloud without trying to filter it (ie saying my thoughts out loud instead of keeping them to myself as my thought filter broke ages ago)
I can often be harsh, grating or seen as insensitive without really meaning to at all.
Within a month of us being friends he cut me off. NOW I will say it was not without fault on my part, however I wasn't even given a chance to make amends, only that I apparently set off one of his triggers and he blocked me.
It hurt, I move on and try to get on with things.
The point of these examples is that I understand that its difficult for people with similar mental disorders to function around others even those with similar issues. Yet why do we lash out at our own kind?
Is it fear, not wanting to understand or just simply being unable to stop it?
I ASK this coming from a standpoint of someone suffering depression since puberty and still battling with it, yet well armed. I am aware of what happens when I start getting worse and do my best to either keep it from others to prevent harm or arm myself and let those who care about me know and go to my usual hiding.
Its been almost 19 years since I first began dealing with depression, NINETEEN YEARS.
Granted the majority of them were me wondering why I felt this way, what is wrong with me, I want to be normal and so on. The rest were an uphill battle of being able to find some kind of diagnosis or help with little to now knowledge in the medical field about some mental issues at all.
So it bothers me greatly when people of my own turn me away without giving me a chance to rectify/apologize/or right my wrong doing. Or worst of all, tell me I did wrong before flat out turning me away.
That is part of the process in the classes too, if someone sets off your trigger or upsets you, NOT TELLING that person is NOT helping either or you and perpetuates the problem. IE not telling the person doesn't fix it and allow them to stop or curtail said actions or behavior. It makes it worse for you because said person will continue said actions/words/behavior to you and other people and NOT KNOW they should not.
Yes this went from trying to understand to a minor rant. It bothers me that as much as those of us with these similar diseases want to be able to handle it or get better, doing this among our own isn't helping.
It causes me to want to further isolate from all and gives me further fear of trusting against my better logic and judgement.
I suppose the short version, please among ALL OF US, if someone has done something bad, please calm down and then tell that person why you are upset. Otherwise you are the only one upset about it while the other person is clueless. Thank you. This does not cover extreme or repeated cases or when the person doing wrong knows it.
Ending this post here and prepping for another update post. April I will be attending CyPhaCon!
CyPhaCon.org please be aware that the end of march and beginning of april may be devoid of posts.
Thank you all for your patience and see you next post!
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